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Blue

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Writer's Block: Divided Self [18 Mar 2009|11:11pm]
Do you behave differently online than you do in real life?
I talk more in real life.
2 comments|post comment

The Move [18 Jan 2009|01:37pm]
In case you were wondering,

I am not abandoning this blog, and I still watch my friends list religiously even if I don't make comments too often.
10 comments|post comment

I think I'm officially about done [23 Sep 2008|08:36pm]
Axl says:
oh wow i finally saw stills from the kitten crusher video. i was hoping i could spend my life avoiding actually watching that video. hrm.
Axl says:
i guess my days on the internet need to come to an official end
Axl says:
save my sanity
Axl says:
however i am surprisingly desensitized enough that it was more like a shrug... that sucks... but not much more effecting kinda way
Axl says:
so its about time. i guess.
11 comments|post comment

[15 Jun 2008|09:36pm]
There are only a few things in my life that I’ve ever regret saying.

“Sure, I’ll patch & sand it!” is now one of them.
4 comments|post comment

[08 Jun 2008|11:49am]
Uhg I had 1 *ONE* obligation today and i didn't do it. Rar..... Jess was suppose to wake me up at 8:30 because the alarm clock is in the bedroom, and I've been sleeping on the futon and he Didn't. I woke up on my own accord around 10:15 but I shoulda been here to open up the building @ 10:00 :( Argggh. I managed to get here for 10:30. He gets up to go to work at 6 am everyday, so I have no idea why this was a problem this morning... :/

I keep hacking out junk out of my lungs....

I need to paint..............

damn i need coffee
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[05 Jun 2008|11:00pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I miss ryan.

Annnnd I don’t think he wants to talk to me. or something.

:)

/angst.

3 comments|post comment

[22 May 2008|11:40pm]
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
lmao so rob is so awesome
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
he is photoing me tomorrow and he wanted me to find a bunch of people who would pose nude with me
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
haha
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
figure drawing... i gues... lmao..
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
wut
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
hahayeah
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
but i couldnt find anyone so we're going to go it later...ha
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
group... nudes?
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
lmao yeah
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
are you sure he doesn't just want some kind of orgy
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
and to be the one to film it?
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
that'd be fucking amazing
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
: /
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
lmao
Cycle of Pseudoryx says:
you know what's not amazing? stds
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
lmao
Axl - Why the fuck won't it stop bleeding? :/! says:
thanks
3 comments|post comment

[22 May 2008|10:46pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Arggggh I've just managed to fuckin kill myu mp3 player AND my finger all in one ill-planned motion of a pair of pliers


FUCK.


MUAHA. ok nm i 've managed to fix my mp3 player in the process of destroying it....... BUT my finger won't stop bleeing...... so I'm not sure if this is a win quite yet....

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[17 May 2008|12:14pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

See? This thing never gets updated.

I should just abuse the privilege of having a journal to be angsty in it, and just BE angsty, instead of just taking it out on that other blog. Good times.

I’ve managed to some-how pull a muscle in my butt or something, and I’m avoiding work.

HOCKEY LATER.

w00t.

I’ll think of something better to write later.

(I wish I could turn the music up louuuuuuuuder damn gallery downstairs)

6 comments|post comment

ART PARTY.! pt. 2 [24 Feb 2008|11:23pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So the art party wasn't an art party thank gods. I don't think I coulda mentally handled a party. But people did come over and draw and we sat around listening to tunes and it was alright.

My enthusiasm about everything is now exhausting me. I think this week I might try and lay low at every opportunity and try and remove myself from things as much as possible. I think I'm exhausting the people around me too, which isn't good. I think some people are avoiding me. I don't blame them since I've been a little neurotic, and not in a way that is just cute and quirky. Like really neurotic and draining to a few select people I'm releasing myself onto. I feel guilty.

Step back. Deep breath. Yikes.

I've committed myself to too much shit. The back of my hands and emails and walls are filled with notes of my schedule. Frightening.

4 comments|post comment

ART PARTY.! [24 Feb 2008|08:11am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Haha today is better.

Oh man.

I'm having an "art party" apparently. Suppose to just be people coming over to chill out and draw but people are calling it a party....

I don't really do parties so this should be interesting...

It is definitely causing me a lot of anxiety and I am contemplating calling it off. My little intimate group of 5 - 7 people to chill out and draw has grown to a possible RSVP list of about 15... I'm like WTF! I had no idea I had that many friends who were really into this sort of thing...

I have no idea what I am going to do with them all. lmao. Will all these people fit into my studio!?

So long that my head doesn't explode I should be alright.


I need to go over soon and hide a few things I think. And get some respectable work time in.


I guess if worse comes to worse we can always migrate to one of the bars or cafes.

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[19 Feb 2008|11:23am]
I am so fucking sick of winter.
1 comment|post comment

SPRING IS COMING! [08 Feb 2008|10:26am]
I cant believe the amount of fur I just brushed out of the cat
3 comments|post comment

[31 Jan 2008|12:15am]
[ mood | contemplative ]



A sun that never sets burns on.
New light is this river's dawn.

When to speak of a word so old
is to relearn what is known.
A time to think back and move on.
Rebuild the loves of lives long gone.

The blood that flows through me is not my own.
The blood is from the past, not my own.
The blood that leads my life is not my own.
The blood is strength, I'm not alone.
4 comments|post comment

My very own cubicle!!! [02 Jan 2008|11:36am]
I kinda want an office job.
11 comments|post comment

[23 Dec 2007|01:21am]
[ mood | calm down, stupid ]

The worst thing about this is that I can't see a damn thing whats wrong or going on back there. I think I got a bandage caught on something, but I don't know what to do about it. I need to wait until tomorrow to see what they say when they come to do their stuff..

Blood. Panicking. Feeling queezy. Dizzy. arggggh.

1 comment|post comment

[22 Dec 2007|10:12am]
[ mood | cranky ]

I just got back to the hospital.

2 1/2 hours for something that took like. 5 minutes.

Every time I go, I need to get unstitched, and stitched up again.

grrr. :(

This blows!

4 comments|post comment

Cyst [22 Dec 2007|01:05am]
[ mood | fucking ouch :( ]

I had "surgery" (ok i dont think it counts as surgery. jess says it does since they cut me open and stitched me back up again. but I donno. Considering my entire experience with hospitals is nil and it didn't seam to require much effort on their part, i'm saying it wasnt surgery! but anyway") on this today.

I've had this thing for like 2 1/2 months now and went over a month ago to get it checked out. Its like the size of a golf ball. Last time they just gave me drugs which lessened the pain and swelling considerably, but it never went away. This time they actually cut me open and did stuff. Sounds like thats what should have happened last time but anyway... Worst pain experience of my life I think, or pretty close to being. I think it was a procedure that wasn't suppose to particularly hurt, except this thing was way too big and far along (and for some reason already bruised badly) and went too deep that they couldn't really numb the pain, so it was like surgery without any anesthetic. wooo.

I can't sit, stand, walk or lay down without being in lots and lots of pain. And I have to go back to the hospital daily for a while to get my bandages and stuff changed. grrr. So depending on how this goes, I might end up spending x-mas alone here in London. I'm not sure if I can suffer through the 3 hour bus trip to kitchener, while I have stitches in my ass :/

Anyway. Sucks. Take pity on me or something.

15 comments|post comment

[26 Nov 2007|08:01am]
BOREDOM EATS ME LIKE CANCAAAAA' DOWN HERE OWN THE FARM
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[26 Oct 2007|12:49am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I'm a horrible story teller.

7 comments|post comment

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